I think it was the combination of yet another hard day, one of several consecutive ones plus the inability to wind down and fall asleep at night – By 6pm I was spent and sitting forever alone in an eating place trying to fill my tummy with tasteless bibbimbap.
Meeting a little girl called Kayleen and her family
I was randomly reading things on facebook when I chanced upon this post and this video:
Just from watching the video, it is easy to tell that this little girl has such a sweet nature. Her face brightens up every time she smiles and theres something about her that makes me feel very contented. If she were my child, I would feel very contended and wouldn’t love her any lesser than how much I love JoyJoy now
This video brought me to tears because it reminded me of the time when we decided we wouldn’t go ahead with the pregnancy if the little girl had Down Syndrome (I’m not proud of it but at that time, it felt as if that was the right decision, didn’t want to bring a life into the world for her to suffer). If not for that doctor who’s comments helped us (or me) realize that every life was precious, even another life was probably destined to undergo suffering or bring you suffering at the end of his or her life. Its not an it-could-have-been-my-girl situation here, it is that I could have lost a child like her or JoyJoy.
Hearing other news
I also read about another mother who had lost her child by miscarrage. Out of everything in the post, what got to me most was this bit:
“My younger son said “two in heaven, three on earth!” Yes, I never thought I would have such a big family, but that would be right. A total of 7 of us.”
And the bit about “Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with physical pain shooting through my heart.“?… I really get it.
And then I hear this song being played in the eating place:
Don’t know about you but me, when I’m not feeling too good, I like to drown myself in a sad song. I’ve been out of touch on songs for a long long while but this song gave me goosebumps. If I ever do the singing thing again, I’d like to do this song.
On a bright note, at least 2 of the side dishes were good.