All i want to do is sleep

Joy Joy feeds about once every 2 hours for food plus some 7-10 mins feedings in between for comfort. Means I have 1 hour for food and miscellaneous and 1 precious hour for sleeping, sometimes more if there are no miscellaneous.

I really need to rant. Grandma is really not helping me much although I know she does what she can to do confinement for me within her rules, like insisting I don’t get any rain / dew on me, making sure I have boiled water to wash up, boiling red date water for me and getting up to make breakfast for me.

Only thing is she is always depriving me of my 1 precious hour of sleep. When I want to sleep in the morning after breakfast, she needs me to help with the bathing and does it in our room, utilizing all the space on our bed, so I can’t sleep even if i wanted to. When I want to sleep after that she wants to go marketing and sends Grandpa away separately to do passbook updating, leaving me alone at home instead of getting Grandpa to do all. When i wanted to sleep in the afternoon, she asked me to “help me look after baby for a while” coz she wants to wash the laundry.

Yesterday, as I was sitting on the sofa, with the nursing pillow and a sleeping Joy Joy there, trying to get some rest whilst sitting up and waiting for Joy Joy’s next feeding time, it occurred to me that Grandma could have done her laundry when I need to feed Joy Joy rather than do it when I can get some rest.

And I just lost it.

I sobbed at first and then cried uncontrollably. I was so so so tired, why did she have to do laundry then? Why do I have to help with bathing Joy Joy? Why can’t she send Grandpa to do the marketing and all in one trip? I thought she said she could do confinement for me? How come I’m like working round the clock with not much rest even when I could have rested? If she couldn’t manage, she shouldn’t have asked me not to get a confinement lady. And best thing is she’s going to work for the next 4 working days. She only quit because she was unhappy with her boss, not because she felt I would be unable to cope.

To add to it, Daddy is sick, very sick. I’ve never seen him so sick before.

Tonight is going to be rough.


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